The Own It Framework: Breaking Free from Decision Limbo

(FAST) FORWARD

I wrote this article back in January, when it seemed like all elements of my life were in flux. I am so excited to share this piece with you because I often think about the woulda, coulda, shoulda. Not in the context of regret, but in the guise of - I am really happy to be in the place where I am and am so appreciative of my experiences - without regret (thanks to the Own It Framework below).

This is the first time I’m getting deeper into what’s happening with DrinkFolks and the lessons that have come out of my personal life. I look back at the examples before and after implementing the Own It Framework - and where I am at with those points in my life today - here in April. I sit here today knowing that I did all the right things for me and I am so happy with the decisions I’ve made.

My hope is that this inspires you to lead yourself out of your own decision limbo and that next time you look back, “woulda, coulda, shoulda” never neva enters your mind.

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on control and that nagging feeling of “woulda, coulda, shoulda.” (For my NYC folks, or SATC fans, you know exactly how I’m enunciating this). Or for the Swifties, “would’ve, could’ve, should’ve” - emulating the same feeling with a different sound.

It's this voice that creeps in when we're unsure, when we’re looking for validation from the outside world, wondering if we had made the “right” choices. Why do we look outside ourselves for permission when the answers are already within us?

I used to do this a lot—searching for external validation to feel like my decisions were acceptable, or even just “right.” And, when things go south, it’s easy to point the finger at others.

But what happens when we let ourselves fail? What if we choose what we want, take the leap on our own terms, and stop waiting for someone else to say “yes”? What happens when we do what we want to do and make decisions for ourselves – by ourselves?

That kind of bravery, taking ownership of our choices, creates magic. When you listen to your gut, when you trust yourself, you're always on the right path.

The “Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda” Trap

Those three little words - song lyrics, catchphrases, cultural shorthand - have become synonymous with regret: the things you wish you’d done, the opportunities you could’ve taken, and the choices you should’ve made.

Every time I hear that voice in my head or when someone shares their regrets, I come back to what I learned about self-love and freedom. The freedom to know who I am, love who I am, and trust myself to make decisions that keep me thriving.

It’s taken me time, but I’ve realized that in relationships (business, romantic, personal) we often feel like our decisions are tied to what others do, their actions, their timing. It’s exhausting to feel like your life is in limbo, stuck waiting for other people’s moves.

Decision Limbo: The Real Life Examples

I’ve found myself in “decision limbo” in almost every area of my life:

Business: I’m waiting on my R&D team to finish a key formulation before production can begin. The final piece? Sourcing galangal juice, which no one can seem to find. This has been our Achilles heel, and now I’m still stuck waiting for an update.
Relationships: I’ve been dating someone who’s “50/50” on coming to visit me in California. He’s been fluctuating between dates that align with his brother’s schedule, and every time I think we’re getting close to solid plans, he pulls back. So now, I’m stuck juggling my own calendar to accommodate someone else’s indecision.
Personal: Ah, funding. Every entrepreneur’s constant companion. I’ve got options - continuing to bootstrap, investors, loans, friends & family, etc. All roads are mine to take. But still, I hesitate. Me. The same me, Tiffany, who is writing about owning your choices.

And yes, I hear it. I do sound whiny, I do sound like I’m complaining - and that’s because I am. Sometimes that’s how we talk to ourselves: spiraling, playing the victim, and getting stuck in the weeds of self-doubt.

But those feelings? They are temporary. And even if they seem real, they're only true because we’ve let ourselves fall into that decision limbo. How do we transcend this?

(Left to Right) 1. Testing "immunity" samples (we all LOVED V2) 2. Sunset in San Diego with my favorite human (and cousin), Jane 3. Snapshot of my daily LA hike

The Own It Framework

All the choices you make are the right ones - as long as you make decisions for yourself, by yourself. By “right” - I mean that even if it may not feel like the easiest choice, it will lead you to exactly where you need to be. Here’s the toolkit I use when I find myself spiraling into indecision:

1. Root Yourself in Reality - Look inward and remind yourself of what you do know. What do you know to be true? What’s in your control right now? What is one small thing you can move forward today?

Mini Mantra: “I start with what I know. I move with what I can”

2. Take Accountability - It’s easy to blame others—trust me, I’ve been there. But often, we have more control than we think. Sometimes it’s miscommunication, sometimes it’s fear of making the wrong choice. Recognize it, own it, and tell yourself:

Mini Mantra: “I’m here because I allowed this to happen, but I can change it.”

3. Find the Silver Linings - In every situation, there’s a silver lining. No matter how difficult things feel, there’s always something to learn, an opportunity to pivot, or a chance for growth. Look for it.

Mini Mantra: “I am grateful that this happened because I have the opportunity to …”

4. Take Action - And I mean this: stop waiting. Even if it’s not the perfect move, even if the timing isn’t ideal—just do something. Action breaks the cycle of stagnation.

Mini Mantra: “Just do it” (thank you, Nike)

The Toolkit in Action

Business:
Instead of waiting for the perfect formula or the ideal ingredients, I’m focusing on what I can control. I’m moving with what I’ve got. One SKU is ready. I’m going to market with that while I refine the second. Every trial, every launch, is data. I’m not paused. I’m progressing.

Romantic:
This isn’t about him. It’s about me. I’m setting my own timeline, I don’t need to be in California nor NYC. I want to be somewhere warm and feel the sun because I have the freedom to do so. I am booking a flight for January 30th. I’m choosing what I need, and inviting space for honest, respectful dialogue from there.

Personal:
I’ve questioned if I’m worth my own investment. But I’m flipping that script.

I am.

This company, this vision - I know it will be a success because it is more than just me. I built this based on my values, I built this to create opportunities for women and their families. I’m showing up with full belief in myself and what I’m building (with a kick ass product, I know you all can get behind).

(Left to Right): 1 &2. I landed in Guatemala and signed myself to climb one of the toughest peaks in the world, Acatenango, in Guatemala. What a gift and journey (more on that another day).
3&4: Scenes from Ingrid's coffee farm. She works with De La Gente, an incredible coffee co-op that ensures farmers thrive (in more ways than one)! And yes, they ship the the United States!

Zooming Out: Reframing “Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda”

Next time you find yourself spiraling into “woulda, coulda, shoulda,” try this instead:

Wanna, Can
You want it? You can make it happen. Period.
Wanna, Should
You should do what you want, because your desires matter.
Wanna—Do It
Just go for it. No more hesitation.

Final Thoughts

We all have moments when we feel out of control, when we spiral, when we feel like we’re stuck in a never-ending loop of indecision. But the truth is, you have the power to change your path at any moment. You have everything you need within you. Trust yourself, take action, and remember: you are enough.

Folks, we’re in this together. If you’re struggling with your own “woulda, coulda, shoulda” moment, let us know. We’re here to help you break free from decision limbo and move forward with confidence.

Tiffany Tang
Owning It
Proud Swiftie
Founder, DrinkFolks

Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda